17/ 12/ 2015
The moment you start looking at the world past your imperfections, the world becomes nicer (for a few days or weeks if you’re lucky). Acceptance,,,, it’s a conscious effort to shrug the unnecessary off, which does not happen over night. Sometimes some people reminds me of what my skin looks like, and sometimes they come from the people you never thought would react the way you saw them react.
Someone I look up to with great respect came to me one day, wearing a worried face and said, Oh I think your vitiligo is getting worst. I seriously felt sorry that she saw my imperfect skin past the spirit I was waving in her face. Sometimes I even forget I have white spots on my skin, and I’m sure she was taken aback with the way I talked about my skin with excitement, not that I’m happy having them, I’m just so happy how I have come to truly learn to embrace them.
I spent countless number of hours researching for treatments, I even went to Mexico to see a doctor that specializes only with vitiligo (his website here), I was on treatment for over a year, I saw a dramatic change on my elbows and forehead, the problem was it’s a treatment you’re not allowed to stop if you really want to get your old skin back, but I stopped my treatment 6 months ago.
If I say I no longer get insecure is a lie, because I’m a woman after all, who happens to have PMSs which then converts to a heavy or light flow before it reaches a resolution, which will then makes me confident and ignorant of my flaws before the cycle begins a new.
Acceptance is the act of acting, like you don’t care about your flaws even if you do, or maybe I don’t really care about it, and even If I do, what’s more important is how we live our lives while carrying that piece of “unwanted” art with us.
Today and always, I will remain as confused as ever, but know that during these times of my confusion, there are other things that are leading me to the right path, to the better side of the world, It’s difficult to point it out today, but I’m sure I own or have something that’s keeping me move forward without having to question so much, don’t ask me what that is, I will not have an answer.
But today’s mood is on the post PMS stage, and I feel like a super model flaunting my flawed skin, writing like Carry Bradshaw and hoping that with this post, I will touch one gal’s life who seems to be uncertain about what to do with her flaws, girl carry it around until you figure out what to do with it, and when you do, promise you’ll come back and share your great discovery.
Thanks for coming over.
To God be the glory.